Now that I’ve got your attention with that incredibly dramatic title, let me just say I love love. I mean, I love romance and flirtation and devotion. I almost, ALMOST even like that feeling when you have just broken up with someone you truly deeply loved.

I love that feeling when you first meet someone that you like, that feeling that you get when you haven’t even met someone but you’re just finally OPEN to it. Like you know even though the air around you hurts you did something real and magical there. I love that feeling when you are truly inhabiting yourself and people stop and look when you walk by. I don’t know about you but I have been bombarded from all sorts of apparently well meaning sources for the last few weeks about the upcoming VDAY. All I feel from these exchanges is isolation, exclusion and competition.

And that’s the most damaging thing about insecurities, and specifically, about failing this test. Maybe you take the long view, and “work on it” with her – depends on how much drama you like in your life. He doesn’t come home from work with his head hung low. The first is to accept and reflect upon your woman’s words, seeing in yourself the man who she expects you to be. “.” But if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit that that’s just your ego getting defensive.

But make no mistake: , that it’s none of her business. It’s happy in its state of safety and inertia, and it doesn’t want to get out there on the edge.

You get mad at her for your own retreat and weakness. She’s trying to light a fire under your ass and give you the oomph you didn’t have on your own. So while you may think that fighting with her is “winning,” it’s not.

And that’s how you know it’s a Test of Strength – it feels like a push… , and if you have enough of those fights, she may just realize one day that you’re not, in fact, the man who she imagined you to be.

Sure, you might free up a few nights on your calendar every week, but it won’t be because you took charge of your fucks and doled them out to events you really wanted to attend and people you really wanted to see. You can attain enlightenment without turning into an asshole.

It will be because the invitations stop coming altogether. It’s possible to revert to that childlike state of not giving a fuck, but with a self-awareness that kids just can’t claim. Generally, their basic needs are being met by the adults in their lives, and even if they’re not, children can barely tell the difference. At a certain point, we all have to suck it up and stop wearing Velcro sneakers. In the book, I walk you through each step of the Not Sorry Method, helping you inventory your fucks and teaching you to identify whether a fuck needs giving and, if it does not, how to take action without turning into an asshole.**BONUS SHORTCUT: I did a TEDx talk called “The Magic of Not Giving a Fuck.” These 12 minutes could change your life…**So, are you ready to stop giving fuck and start living your best life? Think about it: If someone else was doing your laundry all day, every day, would you give a fuck about spilling sweet potatoes in your lap or upending a yogurt cup on your head? If all you had to do was scream your face off to get a glass of water or a new toy, would you give a fuck about having forgotten where you put your previous glass of water or having drowned your Tickle Me Elmo in the tickle-me-toilet? And if you didn’t have fully developed fine-motor skills, would you give a fuck about tying your shoes? What you do is find your way back to that magical equilibrium where the burden of adulthood is lifted by embracing the childlike zest of not giving a fuck. Assholes don’t give a fuck because they are genetically predisposed to getting what they want, no matter who they have to offend, step on, or — yes — fuck over along the way. or as Osho might say, the masculine and feminine polarity. When birth ratios exceed the historically average 1.6 males per 1 female, shit gets whack.Violent crime increases, rape and prostitution abounds, and wars are started.This unfortunate quirk of female psychology arises out a woman’s own insecurities.